One of my most important life lessons has been the value of making myself a priority…my life, my health, and my happiness. And surprisingly, this has had a tremendous positive impact on those I care most about...not to mention how much more present I am, for me and for them and for life in general.
We often put everyone else's needs ahead of our own. We prioritize work, families, friends, and responsibilities over ourselves. But it's time for a change. Making ourselves a priority means valuing our own needs, wants, and desires as much as we value those of others. It means taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally. It means pursuing our own ambitions and dreams, and not just supporting that in others. It means investing in our own happiness and well-being, instead of just trying to make others happy.
This may sound selfish, but it's not. When we make ourselves a priority, we become better able to care for and support others. We have more energy, more enthusiasm, and more patience. When we invest in ourselves, we feel valued and can therefore value others more. We also grow...personally and spiritually. We’re better able to handle stress and manage our emotions. And we become more successful in our personal and professional lives.
The biggest challenge in doing this is knowing how and where to start. This doesn’t mean dropping everything to pursue you and only you. It means, finding (and creating) ways, small at first then bigger over time, to build in routines that give you what you need to feel rested recovered, whole and happy. You'll be surprised at how energizing this can be.
Here are a few tips that can help.
1. Set boundaries. Saying “no” doesn’t always come easy but it’s a healthy habit to develop. When you say no, you are actually saying yes to yourself, your priorities, and to the things that align with your values and goals (the things that matter most to you).
2. An option to saying no is to offer another time or another way to be there for those you care about. For example, “I can’t help in this moment because I’m in the middle of getting home from work, prepping dinner, and then winding down in the tub later, but I may be able to help you out this weekend.”
3. Schedule in time for yourself. Actually schedule it in your calendar if that helps you stick to it. This can include time to do nothing, (if that’s what your heart or body desires.) Schedule in time for activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading a book, playing pickle ball, taking a walk, practicing yoga, photographing the beauty all around you. And don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself. [ME TIME] or [SPA DAY]. How motivated are you now?
4. Pursue your passions: Don’t be afraid to pursue your own ambitions and dreams, even if they don’t align with what others expect of you. Whether it’s learning a new skill, signing up for a new activity, or even exploring something you’ve been curious about.
5. Invest in your health: take care of your physical, mental and emotional health by eating well, giving yourself enough time for rest and recovery, regular exercise, and activities that help you manage stress. Seek support if you need to.
6. Surround yourself with supportive people: Build relationships with people who support and encourage you, and who share your values and priorities. Avoid toxic relationships that drain your energy. And communicate this new way of being with those you care about. Share your reasons and ask for their support and patience.
Making ourselves a priority is not always easy, especially when we have spent so much of our lives putting others first. But it's essential if we want to live happy, fulfilling, and successful lives. By valuing ourselves and making ourselves a priority, we can become the best versions of ourselves and inspire others to do the same. So, let's start acting like our own happiness, health, and success matter. Because they do.
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